not the centre of the universe

Your monthly post on LJ from Yours Truly, that is.

I'd like to remind you that really, I'm over here.

I'll be posting an entire series on gaming theory, in the upcoming weeks. Erm. An entire series on my personal gaming theory...theories...thoughts.

Current Mood: accomplished

Does anybody actually *come here* anymore?

I'm just not sure I'm one of them.

Just thinkin' out loud is all. Thinkin' out loud.

There are few people I actively harbour ill will toward. For the most part, even if I don't like you, I wish you well in all your endeavours. And there really aren't very many people I don't like.

But, sometimes, someone pops up, and all I can think is: "I hope you reap all you sow". Or, better yet, "you deserve what you're getting".

I know it's petty and small of me.

I think it's a knee-jerk reaction to assholes, really.

Current Mood: contemplative

I miss LARP. But I do not miss Vampire. I would play Werewolf again, provided i was in a good pack.

I am a gaming elitist. I don't think this is a bad thing. Elitism on its own is just my way of saying that, as with any social group, there are folks whom I enjoy spending time with, and there are folks with whom our differences make most social interactions basically a brief 'hello'. Everyone has dear friends, friends, acquaintances, and folks with whom they do not wish to spend time. Gaming is no different from any other social activity. If I'm spending several hours a week with someone, or with a group of someones, it makes sense that I enjoy spending time with them whether or not we're gaming.

That being said, some game settings are more geared toward, for lack of a better term, social isolation. I enjoy games that encourage small group (pack-style) participation, and many ways in which to be part of a group (tribe, pack, sept, etc.). I dig that there can be many different kinds of social interaction colouring your group's interaction with other groups, with other individuals, and on and on. I'm told this is possible in Vampire, but I've never really seen it. Short of clan-specific stuff (which was rather sad, with few exceptions), I've never really seen good coterie play. Sabbat, on the other hand...might have something there.

But part of it is that I'm just not interested in playing vampire anymore. It doesn't excite me. I look forward to playing in a LARP, but not playing a vampire. Which, I guess, is why I haven't played in any vampire games recently (I played and NPC recently).

What I really like in LARP is when you're completely in-character, and the people around you are become different people, and there's suspension of disbelief, and you still know that there's a bunch of people that, no matter what you do, are going to stand up and fight for you if necessary; that you're always a *part* of something.

The other thing (I've been thinking a lot about this lately) is that when I look at the type of motivation for vampires, it's all about death and pain, and, you know, while that was cool when I was an angsty teenager, and while you didn't really think about it all that much when you were just out playing The Game because all your friends were out playing The Game and it's just what you did, it's kind of worn out its shine.

What I mean is, when you are playing a Vampire, you're playing a creature that subsists on the blood of living creatures. It kills or maims or hurts and is, at its core, a cursed, horrid beast. That doesn't really appeal to me anymore. In fact, it hasn't really appealed to me since I read "Wraith: the Oblivion" (and thank you, White Wolf, for discontinuing that line). Wraiths (the spirits of the dead) are fuelled by passion. They eat the stuff up. Werewolves are fuelled by the powers of creation and the earth mother. Mages are fuelled by primal forces. In other LARPs, your survival is based upon your sanity, or your own personal power, or some other external stimulus that usually isn't based on having to kill stuff.

It's a difficult thing for me to explain, but that little thing, that little tiny aspect of the game, gives the entire system...the entire genre, a ...well... a deathy pallor. There ought to be two forces working against Vampires (currently, if you become too much of a monster (lose humanity)...you become a monster): humanity and ennui. Honestly, if you get as many lifetimes as you want to perfect things, it really shouldn't take that long to get bored. And if you're not bored, it should be a *challenge* as to why you're *not* bored. Elder vampires, IMO, should just lose humanity at a specified rate, depending on their age.

Anyway, yeah. So. Not impressed with vampire. Not that it matters, since I don't intend on playing in (or running) a vampire game anytime soon.

Which brings me to my next point/question: Am I the only person in the LARPiverse who doesn't like Vampire? Honestly? I mean, that surprises me, but people are falling all over themselves to play this wizened old game in which, regardless of the character you play or the things you bring to the game, is just a concatenated series of outdated tropes that have been played out, over and over, millions of times before.

Am I judging things too harshly?
Hmmm. Not sure if that's important. It always makes me smile when someone takes offense to my judgements or opinions. Go ahead and disagree, folks; I'm probably not going to change my mind just because you have a differing (and, to quote a friend of mine, stupid) opinion.

Is it just me? What am I missing? What is there left to be discovered in this genre?

I'm not asking those questions idly. I'm really wondering if I've just contracted a serious case of judgey-itis or something.

Current Mood: disappointed

The gorram subject field isn't big enough so I have to keep telling the story here...we'd prepare a letter with blanks left open so that the other guy could fill in all the juicy bits. I still have some of those letters. They were fun.

In filling out this little tidbit, I encourage you to use many descriptive words. And animal parts.

I ____ c3n0byte.
c3n0byte is ____.
If I were alone in a room with c3n0byte, I would _______.
I think c3n0byte should _____.
c3n0byte needs ______.
I want to ____________ c3n0byte.
Someday, c3n0byte will _____.
c3n0byte reminds me of _____.

Current Mood: chipper

Something like Mana, I suppose.

Two LARPs this weekend have Yours Truly somewhat tapped out in terms of saying much of anything. As the week progresses, I suppose that will change.

Okay, so my kid has a friend.
Actually, to be fair, my kid has many, many friends. Which is nice.
Anyway, this one kid in particular has Family Problems. There is drinking, and poverty, and all that Very Sad Jazz. And soemtimes, this Friend stays at our house, which makes me happy. But, here's the deal.
There is only one thing this kid wants to/likes to do when he's at my house, and that's play video/computer games. And our kids usually have fairly restricted screen times. And here's the deal. This kid mopes around like I've just shivved his mother when he doesn't get to play games. I mean, I ran a D&D game for the boys when this kid was here last time, and all he did was sit at the other end of the play mat and mumble "I don't care." and "Whatever". And when it was his turn to roll the dice, he just flicked them around and moped. It was *really* annoying...and not just to me; to my son, as well.

So now he's here and we got pizza for the kids last night and he pulled this 'I'm not hungry' mopey crap. Fine. So he's not hungry. This morning, I made my kids' favourite breakfast (next to waffles), which is rice custard (you get the sticky rice/brown rice; you use milk instead of water to make it, then after it's cooked, you add some butter and brown sugar and cream. It's very good). It took a long time, and since the kids had been up since before the crack of dawn, they were pretty hungry. The Nipper was so hungry, in fact, that he asked for an apple before the custard was ready. The Captain inhaled his custard in about four seconds. Friend, however, announced loudly, "I don't like this."
And I said, "You've never tried this."
And he said, "Yes I have."
And I said, "Not here you haven't buddy. Try it."
So he took one ...ONE... grain of rice on his spoon and licked it, then made a horrible face and sat there with Mister Poutypants Face. Seriously. He couldn't have been more upset if I had personally, and very publically, shit on his cheerios. So my kids finished their breakfast, and Friend just sat there with his lip hanging halfway across the table.
"Friend," I said, "please try your breakfast."
"I'm not hungry," he said.
And I said, "Bullshit."
And all the kids stared at me. "I mean, you haven't eaten since sometime yesterday afternoon. Now I know you don't want to try it because it's something different you've never tried before, but you don't get to lie to me. That is disrespectful. Now I want you to try the food that's in front of you."
He took three of the tiniest bites I have ever seen a hungry child take.
"FINE," I said. There are apples on the counter. Have one of those. Make sure you wash it."
So he did, and the entire time, he refuses to even *look* at me. Because I am the meanest jerk on the face of the planet.

Let me just say that when I was a kid, if my friends' parents put food in front of me, I bloody well ate it. Even if it was liver. And I sure as shit didn't give them any attitude. At this point, I'm about ready to tell my kid that this friend can't hang out here anymore if he's going to give me attitude.

Last time he was here, when it was time to shut off all the screens, he made a big show of calling his parents to come pick him up. I didn't stop him or try to bargain. I made it clear that this was his choice, to leave rather than do something other than play on the computer/console. My own kid came to me in tears asking why he'd chosen to leave.

And I had to say, "Because sometimes, people refuse to find joy. Sometimes, people are closed-minded and narrow-focused and think the only thing that will make them happy is getting their way. Do you think he's happier at home than he would have been here?"

And my kid said, "Probably not. But you were really mean to him."

And I said, "I treated him the same way I treat you guys. He has to follow our rules when he's at our house. That's not being mean; that's being consistent. Treating people the same in the same situation isn't mean. It's fair."

And my kid sniffled and said, "I wish you hadn't sent him home."

And I said, "Dude, I didn't. I gave him plenty of opportunities to have fun, and he chose not to take advantage of any of them. HE chose to go home rather than play other stuff."

And my kid said "oh. That's really dumb."

And I said, "You know what? It is."

But it still pisses me off. Because this is the beginning of the "the world owes me something" attitude that makes my teeth fucking itch. Because he's expecting special treatment at NINE. Grumble.

Current Mood: pissed off

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Current Location: Home again, home again, jiggity-jig
Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: L7-Shitlist

They're sending doves.

Current Music: he B

Angels won't let me rest.

Current Music: d Me An Angel - Wh

My hippie senses are tingling. Somethig is triune with something else, and some planet is in the fourth quadrant, moving through the area that represents communication and relationships.

There have been more misunderstandings, more slings and arrows, more barbs, more hurt feelings in the last few weeks than I can remember hearing about in a three- to four-week stretch.

Maybe it's the moon. I suspect instead, though, it is Saturn, the planet that governs communications, somehow in opposition with Mars, the war god.

Whatever the reason, it'll be interesting to see which, if any, relationships are harmed by this madness.

Current Mood: quixotic

I wonder if you'd answer a question for me. Take as much time/space as you'd like.

What do you do and/or what is your reaction when you are publically disrespected?

Current Mood: curious

Right.

Well.

There's that then.

Today, I'm thinking about Immigrants.

Discuss.

Is it me?

It's him, isn't it?

It's not me. It's him.

I swear to GOD.

Okay, so....what...is today a full moon or something?

Usually this creeeeepy feeling is what I get when it's a full moon.


Stupid moon.

I can't believe I spent two minutes of my life doing ( this )

Current Mood: frustrated

My Political Views
I am a left moderate social libertarian
Left: 7.07, Libertarian: 2.81

Political Spectrum Quiz

Mexicans? Maybe a couple of Russians looking for something to do?

See, I have this skating rink in my back yard. I built it. Yeah. *I* did that.

Anyway, it's snowed pretty much every other day, if not every day, here for the last, oh, month or so, and I've figured something out. I mean, I'm not *real* good with math, but this is what I figured out.

I have, in the past two weeks, shovelled over 90,000L of snow off my goddamned rink.

And you know what? 

SNOWFALL WARNING.


Mmm-hmmm. Another 90,000L of snow to shovel off tomorrow.

That's. Just. Great.

I'll pay you in homemade buns.

Current Mood: aggravated